First of all, did I spell kindergarteners right?  It looks very wrong.  Plus it has a red underline.  Is it even a word?

Secondly, I don’t know.  But, if I say first of all, I need to say something about a second, or a next. I just remember that from my English classes in high school.

As some of you know, I have the wonderful and amazing opportunity to sub as a classroom aide in the schools here in Madison.  This job is kind of amazing, and it keeps me on my toes.  Today, I had the great opportunity to help out in a kindergarten (no red line this time… hmmm) classroom.  I was sitting in on the music class next to this quiet, but rather inquisitive little child.  She asked me a few questions, like my name, and what was on my neck (I think she was referring to a mole or freckle or whatever those lovely dark spots are (when you’re young and ashamed of them, adults call them “beauty marks,” attempting to turn your embarrassing oddity into some sort of prized attribute.  I never bought it.).  I answered her questions quietly and succinctly, hoping to encourage her to pay attention.  We were in music class, my favorite, afterall, so I didn’t want to miss out!

But one question caught me a little off-guard.  So much so, that I didn’t hear it right the first time.

“Do you have boobs?”

I could have sworn, or maybe just really was hoping, that she said the word, “boots.”  So I pointed to my shoes and said “Not today” and tried to redirect her to the singing that was supposed to be happening.  She tried again.

“No.” She pointed to her chest. “Where are your boobs? You know, nipples.”  She further clarified.

I said, “Oh.  They’re there.”  And yes, I did look down to check, for fear that something may have happened over the last few hours without me realizing.

No, this conversation is not yet over.  She had one more question for me.

“Why don’t you have big boobs?”

I had absolutely no answer for this.  Um… genetics?  I’m not yet a mother?  All of these answers would require a little more than a one-word explanation for this inquisitive kindergarten student.  So, I just answered the plain and simple, “I don’t know.  That’s a good question.”

She kindly comforted me in my deficiency, nodding in understanding.  She doesn’t really have them yet either.

For the first time in my life, my tendency to wear baggy clothes resulted in discomfort.  But no, dear friends, particularly those of you who claim my clothes are too big, I will still keep to my ways and remain baggy, comfortable, and apparently, also “boobless.”